A Journey Towards The Observer Self
Have you ever had one of those Aha moments in life, where an insight suddenly lands and shifts the way you see yourself and the world? That is exactly how I felt when I first came across mindfulness and the idea of the observer self.
From a young age we are encouraged to define who we are: what we do, what we are good at, and what we should aspire to become. Along the way we absorb beliefs from our environment .. from family, school, culture, and society.
Some of these beliefs empower us, while others quietly limit how we see ourselves and what we believe is possible. Over time we begin to build an identity around these thoughts and beliefs. Sometimes they support us, sometimes they hold us back, and often they do both at the same time.
In coaching sessions I often see how the thoughts and feelings people experience begin to shape the behaviours they choose, or the ones they avoid. This can appear as indecision, feeling stuck or overwhelmed, living on autopilot, or being pulled in different directions by what we sometimes call the “monkey mind.”
These experiences are not problems to eliminate; they are part of being human.
The goal is not to get rid of thoughts or emotions, but to develop a different relationship with them, one where they no longer have complete control over how we respond.
This is where the idea of the observer self becomes powerful. Mindfulness is often misunderstood as emptying the mind or forcing ourselves to think positively, but it is neither of these things. At its heart, mindfulness is about rediscovering a deeper awareness .. a place within us that can observe our thoughts, feelings, and experiences without becoming completely entangled in them.
To explore this, imagine a vast open space. A quiet, expansive space containing nothing but stillness. Allow your attention to settle there for a moment, noticing your breath and allowing the thoughts and feelings from your day to come and go. Instead of getting caught up in them, imagine expanding your awareness into that wider space.
Now imagine a bubble appearing within it, representing your mind. Inside the bubble are the thoughts that have been moving through your awareness today, perhaps even the ones appearing right now. From the space around it, you can simply observe them. You are the one noticing. As you gently zoom out, imagine another bubble appearing, this time representing your emotions. Notice its shape, weight, or colour. What feelings are present there? And again, simply observe.
Now bring your attention to something more subtle: notice that you are noticing. There is a part of you that can watch thoughts, emotions, and experiences without being defined by them. This is the observer self, a place of awareness that exists beneath the constant movement of the mind.
When we begin to access this perspective, something quietly powerful happens. Thoughts still arise and emotions still move through us, but they begin to lose their grip on how we respond. From this space we gain a little more freedom: the freedom to pause, the freedom to choose, and the freedom to act in ways that align more closely with the person we want to be.
Perhaps one of the most important discoveries we can make is that we are not simply the identity, the thoughts and emotions we experience, but the awareness that can observe them which is present in everyone. And in the space between noticing and reacting, we begin to rediscover our freedom.
